i promised myself i'll start blogging more positive things.

but maybe the next post.

im so disappointed with myself,
the moment i tell myself i need to start picking up the pieces,
something bad happens and i just drop everything i have and fall back to the ground zero.

why cant i stay strong,
i dont know.

why cant i

ah, why do i even bother,
when the only person i want to sincerely please doesnt give 2 hoots about my feelings.

i hate to admit to this but im so emotionally beat up and abused,
by myself maybe, by someone else, maybe.

i m tired